


桜雨 (Cherry Blossom Rain)

by koushizora



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Oral Sex, Post-Break Up, Someone help idk how to tag, Songfic, after timeskip, non descriptive tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:34:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24491347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koushizora/pseuds/koushizora
Summary: The cherry blossoms are sweet but the memories of them give Oikawa a bitter feeling.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	桜雨 (Cherry Blossom Rain)

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is based off of SuG's song, 桜雨 (sakura ame) and a bit of 無条件幸福論 (unconditional happiness theory). feel free to listen before/during/after reading :)  
> also, i did post this on my twitter (also @koushizora) before!!  
> i hope you enjoy reading!!

Baby pink petals fluttered to the ground, dancing in the wind that gave a light chill to those admiring the falling flowers. The air smelled sweet but Oikawa could only feel bitter at the sight of flowers. He hadn’t properly visited Japan for years, and even if he did return, he had always tried to avoid this time of year. But he couldn’t avoid it this time.

_“Hey, it’s our last year as high schoolers, isn’t it?” Oikawa hummed as the two volleyball players walked in through the school gates. The pink cherry blossoms falling from the trees dotted around the campus signalled the start of their final year. Iwaizumi turned his head to look at the team captain._

_“Is that not obvious enough for you?” Iwaizumi asked with a raised eyebrow._

_“I’m just saying. It’s our last year together.” the brunet shrugged._

_The two went silent._

_Until a light whack was heard._

_“Iwa-chan! Why would you do that?!” Oikawa whined while rubbing his shoulder lightly. Iwaizumi turned to look at the school building, thinking anything would’ve been better than looking at his lifelong best friend. He knew that already. They were likely to go their separate ways after this, and he had been thinking of that since they entered high school._

_“Don’t think about that now. I bet you were gonna say something like “I’ll make this year worthwhile, I’ll bring us to nationals!”, weren’t you?” Iwaizumi grumbled, looking away from the slightly younger boy. Despite the unfriendly tone of voice that would’ve pushed anyone away, it only made Oikawa gasp,_

_“Iwa-chan, you know me so well!” before attempting to give a tight hug._

_It resulted in a painful kick to the shin._

“Nationals, huh…” Oikawa muttered to himself before shaking his head. He still couldn’t forgive himself for that. For talking big and never being able to get past the other team. For practicing until he incapacitated himself and had to take a leave from the team. For not pushing himself in a better way to get the team further. For letting the team and Hajime down. 

Letting out a long sigh, he figured he might as well get home quickly, especially to get past the park with the huge cherry blossom tree where they would make promises to each other. Some were simple and they managed to keep; Oikawa lost a race in elementary and promised to buy ice cream for Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi promised to stay the night after they heard a scary urban legend.

Some were a little harder to keep but they managed; Oikawa promised to not let volleyball get in the way so much that he would avoid his studies and drop out of the same class as Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi promised to help him walk home whenever his knee started to ache again after the incident. The two of them kept their promise to go on a romantic date once a month.

But the biggest promises were the ones they couldn’t keep; to go to nationals, and to stay together.

Looking back, it was futile. There was no way they could keep those promises, and yet for years Oikawa still felt the guilt bite at him for being unable to do so. 

_“I’m going to Argentina, to continue with volleyball.” Oikawa mentioned casually, as if it wasn’t a big deal to suddenly travel to the other side of the world. Iwaizumi’s eyes shot wide open and he sat up to look at the other male in the dark with an incredulous expression on his face,_

_“Huh?!” to say he was shocked would’ve been an understatement. It came out of nowhere, and he didn’t even know what to say._

_“There’s some really strong teams there! I figured I’d improve a lot if I could go!”_

_“... when are you leaving?”_

_“Hm… I’d say almost immediately. Maybe I’ll hang around a month or two to say my goodbyes.” Iwaizumi laid back down and shifted around in the bed uncomfortably._

_“When will I get that last goodbye?”_

_Oikawa didn’t say anything for a moment. He just continued to lay beside his best friend and partner._

_“Tooru, when will-”_

_“If you want, now. But I don’t want that.”_

_Oikawa knew for a while they’d have to say goodbye eventually. It was just a matter of time. For weeks now he wondered when would’ve been a good time to say it, but he always got scared. He tried to prepare himself, he really did. But with every kiss they shared, every night they spent together, he found himself wanting more. Even if it was by just a single second, Tooru wanted to stay by Hajime’s side._

_“I don’t want to let go of you yet, Hajime. So… if you’re alright with it, I won’t say goodbye yet.” There was just the slightest crack in Oikawa’s voice as he pleaded for him to stay. The tension in the few seconds he spent waiting for a reply made Oikawa feel as if his heart would burst. He made no movement besides a turn of his head to look towards Iwaizumi instead of at the ceiling. Just as he was about to repeat his words in a more direct manner, the bed shifted and he felt a muscular arm pull his leaner body into a warm but slightly stiff hug._

_“I hate you, Shittykawa.”_

_“I love you too, Iwachan.”_

_There was just a slight scoff from the man beside Oikawa, but within milliseconds he felt a semi rough kiss to his lips. It sent his heart aflutter and his cheeks warmed up._

_“Good night, Tooru.”_

_“Yeah, good night, Hajime.”_

_The two closed their eyes and drifted off to sleep still in their warm embrace._

_“I wanted to stay like that with you forever.”_

Oikawa looked once again at his childhood bedroom and ran a hand through his soft hair. Aside from a little bit of dust which had collected on the desk, and the fact that the closet was emptier than it once had been, it looked the same. He had finished unpacking a while ago after dinner with his family, and already took a relaxing bath, so he figured he might as well sleep a little early tonight to get used to the change in time zones. 

There was a light knock on the door before it creaked open.

“Tooru-chan, you’ve grown a bit since high school haven’t you? Do you still fit on that bed? If not, I can get you a futon to put in here.” his mother asked. 

“Yeah! I haven’t grown that much, mom!” he laughed. 

“Mm, okay. You look really tired so get some sleep soon, Tooru-chan.” 

“Was just thinking about doing that. Goodnight, mom.” 

“Good night.”

The door shut quietly and Oikawa turned off his lights before walking carefully to his bed, careful not to trip over the suitcase that was still left out. The bed was still the same as ever, it felt like home and smelt of nostalgia. And yet it didn’t feel quite right, like it was too big. No matter how he shifted, it never felt right. He tried different positions, changing the setting on the aircon, a different blanket, and yet it still didn’t work. 

About an hour later, there were a few little _dings_ from his phone making the former Seijoh captain grab it immediately. 

**iwachan to “3rd years!!” : Just a reminder we’re meeting at Okonomiyagi at 11:30.**

**mattsun to “3rd years!!” : i still think that store has a terrible name**

**makki to “3rd years!!” : i think it tastes good tho**

**mattsun to “3rd years!!” : true, it’s not too bad**

**iwachan to “3rd years!!” : Oikawa, you got that?**

“Oikawa…” said man let out a deep sigh. Who knew he could miss being called “Trashykawa”, “Crappykawa”, or even “Shittykawa”? He slowly typed out his reply, 

**“yeah of course! how could i miss meeting you guys? 🤩🤩”**

He stared rather intensely at his phone, waiting for a reply. Although it came within the minute, it still felt like ages.

**iwachan to “3rd years!!” : “Sure sure, see you there.”**

Oikawa put his phone face down and curled up in the thick duvet on his bed. His heart still felt heavy, like a pressure wouldn’t leave him. It felt like it hadn’t left for years but now it felt stronger than ever.

After some more twisting and turning, the brunet finally fell into an uncomfortable and restless sleep. 

_There was the sound of muffled thumping from the party downstairs, but more importantly was the sound of giggles, kisses, and rustling clothing in this dark bedroom. Safe to say, enough alcohol had been consumed between the two for this to happen._

_Oikawa relished in the feeling of the rough kisses from the soft lips of his partner. They tasted like alcohol and juice, probably from whatever cocktail the house owner fancied making for the night. He hadn’t felt anything like this in so long, so he enjoyed every bit of it despite the slight haze in his head from his own drinking._

_Before he knew it he was laying on a bed, he didn’t know who’s, but what mattered was the pleasure he gained from the head in between his legs drawing moans and sighs from his lips. He had been so busy with training he hadn’t realised how long he had gone without this kind of interaction and how badly he missed it._

_It didn’t take too long before he reached his end with a loud moan of his partner’s name._

_They pulled away and began to get up. In his daze, Oikawa looked at their shadowy figure, still hard to distinguish in the darkness._

_“Where are you going?” he asked, the slightest pant audible in his voice._

_“My name isn’t ‘Iwachan’.” a strangely feminine voice sighed bitterly._

_Oikawa’s eyes shot wide open and he inspected the figure more carefully. God… how drunk must he have been to think that person was his past lover or that Iwaizumi would’ve been anywhere in Argentina?_

_“I- I’m sorry.” he managed to get out._

_“It’s fine. I’ll just get going. Though I really didn’t expect this from the notoriously flirty Tooru Oikawa.”_

_Neither did he really._

Oikawa woke up with a startling feeling as his alarm rang. He groggily reached over and switched it off before staring at the ceiling with slightly squinted eyes. “That was way too embarrassing.” he cringed into his duvet at the painful memory. After that night he swore to never let his teammates drag him to any party like that again.

Oikawa arrived at the little restaurant two minutes before the designated time. Hanamaki and Matsukawa were already sitting inside, looking through the menu while waiting for their friends to arrive. 

“Woah! If it isn’t the pro.” Matsukawa waved towards Oikawa as he sat in the chair beside him. 

“I really hope that’s a compliment, Mattsun!” the former captain pouted as he took a menu and began flipping through as well.

“It is, captain,” Matsukawa chuckled, “It’s just been a while.”

“Yeah, that’s for sure. I mean, I bumped into you guys at the shrine once or twice during New Years. But we didn’t actually sit down to talk.”

“You were always really busy those times. Iwaizumi said the two of you haven’t even met since we graduated.” Hanamaki stated.

“I uh… well, our schedules never really matched when I was back visiting! But now I’m back for three months, so I made sure to meet you guys.” Oikawa put on a big grin.

“Not that you really had a choice.”

“Yeah. I know.” 

A couple more minutes had passed and the three looked at their watches, wondering where their last friend was. Just as Hanamaki was about to send a message to their group chat to check on him, Iwaizumi ran up to the table. 

“Sorry I’m late! Oh, Oikawa, you’re finally showing up.” he said, somewhat surprised.

“I’m kinda hurt you’d think I wouldn’t show up to meet my best friend.” he teased before receiving a flick to the forehead.

“Yeah yeah, sure you’re hurt, Shittykawa.” Oikawa felt the fluttering in his heart again at that nickname. His eyes widened ever so slightly and his single second of silence spoke for itself. 

“Sure am.” he laughed lightly while Iwaizumi turned to talk to someone behind him.

“You don’t have to be shy, they’re just my former teammates.” 

“Yes, but I’ve never talked to Oikawa-san.” a shy feminine voice spoke up while the person stepped out and gave a small bow of greeting to the three men. 

“Oikawa, this is my fiancee, Nami. I thought it’d be good for you to meet her before the wedding.” Iwaizumi spoke, and Oikawa felt a pain pierce his heart.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki shared a glance, already realising how Oikawa still felt after all the years. It must’ve been painful to hear that.

He was expecting it, he knew he was invited back to Japan to help plan the wedding and be the best man for the wedding. But it still hurt way more than he expected.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Nami-san. Oh, can I call you Iwa-chan too then?” he asked with a little laugh. Of course, it was met with a whack on his back.

“No way, dumbass!”

But Nami giggled and nodded, “Go ahead! But I think it would be confusing, since that’s what you call Hajime.”

_“She’s really nice…”_ Oikawa thought to himself. Had she been a rude person, he’d have a reason to dislike her, but he had none. Especially from what he’d seen on her social media which Matsukawa had sent to him. She was an event planner for some high end brands, regularly helped out in charities, and she was extremely pretty. She could probably do modelling if she wished. Everything about her made Oikawa jealous and made him regret half of his later life decisions. But he continued to smile and said,

“I think I’ll just stick with calling you Nami-chan.”

* * *

“It was really nice to meet you all! I’ve got a meeting to go to, so I’ll see you again another day!” Nami waved and hurried off to the bus stop. The four men waved goodbye to her as well before turning to each other.

“I’ve gotta go too. Girlfriend asked me to pick up some stuff from the grocery store.” Matsukawa said.

“My mom asked me to mail some stuff at the post office.” Hanamaki spoke as well.

“I guess we’ll just discuss more about the wedding plans tomorrow at dinner. Kindaichi and Kunimi told me they’d make it then, so make sure you’re on time.” Iwaizumi reminded, making the two laugh. He still retained some sort of habits of giving reminders as the former vice-captain of the volleyball team.

“You were the only one late today, Iwaizumi.” Hanamaki reminded him in return. He rubbed the back of his neck in slight embarrassment. 

“Yeah, sorry about that. Well, see you guys tomorrow then.” he smiled and waved as the two of them headed their separate ways.

“What about you? Doing anything?” Iwaizumi asked Oikawa.

“Nah. I’m just gonna look for a temporary job or do training until I go back. But until then I’m free. You?” 

“Same here. If you’re free then, I wanted to talk to you.” 

For some reason, that surprised Oikawa. Especially with how they parted those years ago. It was painful and they couldn’t talk for weeks before Hanamaki and Matsukawa ranted in their group chat about how university was basically shortening their life span. It wasn’t the most conventional way to get the four of them talking again, but it definitely worked.

Without having to think about it, the two of them began walking in the direction of their houses. It felt like high school again, maybe just with a slightly different view as they grew a couple centimeters taller and a couple of new shops.

“Are you okay?” Iwaizumi suddenly asked.

“Of course I’m fine! I’m glad to see you’re happy and Nami-chan looks like a perfect match for you!” Oikawa gave a wide grin. 

“I know that much, but are _you_ alright?” 

The smile on Oikawa’s face faltered slightly before slowly transforming into a small smile of self-pity and strange fatigue.

“Are you sure you want me to be your best man?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, but it was enough for Iwaizumi to hear.

“Who else would it be?” he replied nonchalantly, as if it were always meant to be that way. 

Oikawa’s brow furrowed in confusion. How could he be fine with that? He had hurt Iwaizumi and they hadn’t had a proper conversation in ages, let alone met up. 

“I thought you hated me. Especially after-”

“You’re still the most important person in my life. As stupid as it sounds. It wasn’t exactly what we had planned for as kids but I want you by my side in the most important part of my life.” 

The setter was almost frozen in his tracks. It was like he was hit by some sort of revelation, but he still felt pathetic. How many years had it been since they graduated and properly broke up? How many times had he tried to get into a relationship only to break up with them because he felt like he couldn’t really get over his best friend? How many times had he laid in bed thinking of what could’ve been of them? 

“It was hard. You decided to go to Argentina a little after we lost to Karasuno so it felt like I was punched in the gut twice,” Iwaizumi started, “But I couldn’t get too angry. I thought if going there made you happy, then that’s fine. If you were happy, I’d be happy.” He then shot a glare at Oikawa, “it wasn’t easy to finally accept that though.” After being decently amused by his former captain’s reaction, he just smiled and looked back at the familiar road they walked down.

The two walked in silence for a bit as Oikawa collected his thoughts. He realised he had been clinging onto a hopeless dream for years now, trying to fix a thread between them which he frayed himself with blunt shears. But as frayed as the thread had become, it still existed and remained strong throughout the many years. Surely, with a little mending it could be fixed, he thought. It wouldn’t be the same but it could be fixed. He would do his best to make sure it was.

“We’re here.” Iwaizumi said, and Oikawa looked up from the road to see the large cherry blossom tree under which they had always spent their youth. The baby pink flowers fell slowly, dancing in its path down to the ground.

_One kiss was followed by another, and then another. The petals from the tree continued to rain down with the cool wind of the night._

_“Tooru, you have to get back already. Your flight is in the morning.” Iwaizumi muttered against the bruised lips of his partner._

_“Just one more.” he muttered and pulled his vice-captain in for another deep and longing kiss while the other tried to pull away._

_“Tooru, we can’t-”_

_“Please, one last one. I promise-”_

_“Stop, dammit! I can’t take it!”_

_At that, Oikawa froze. His half-lidded eyes shot wide open and he looked at Iwaizumi who had gripped the setter’s wrists. Slowly, he let go of the ace’s shirt and took a step back. The expression on Iwaizumi’s face was one of agony and anger and Tooru could only think,_ “I made him make this face. What’s wrong with me?” _There was a sharp feeling of pain in his chest as he realised what he had done._

_Slowly, Iwaizumi let go of his wrists and took a step back as well._

_The knife became sharper and pierced deeper into the wound in his heart. He realised quickly he was being woken from the dream he loved so much. The wind no longer just cooled his flushed skin, but froze his heart as well._

_“I… I’ll miss you, dumbass.”_

_As he said those words, Tooru couldn’t help but think Hajime looked so handsome with the way the cherry blossoms fell behind him. That look accompanied by the slight glitter of the single tear rolling down his cheek, illuminated in the moonlight and streetlights, was a sight Tooru would never forget._

Thinking back to that time, and looking at the way the petals fell around Iwaizumi, Tooru was reminded of how painful their last interaction was and bit his lower lip. The old scar on his heart ached slightly, but it didn’t hurt near as much as before.

“Iwa-chan,”

“Hm?” 

“Think I’ll be able to find someone at the wedding?”

It earned a half-incredulous look but it quickly became a hearty laugh, followed by a light whack to the setter’s back with just the slightest lingering touch.

“That’s a stupid question, dumbass.”

The old scar on his heart hurt and Tooru realised he may never love someone as much as he loved Hajime, but he could learn to finally move on. Bit by bit.

And maybe he could learn to appreciate the falling cherry blossoms in their dance once again.


End file.
